God really does know what he's doing

A little more than a year go, I was struggling very greatly with the loss of a few people in my life. Change had come upon me, when I least expected it and I found myself trying to process the change. I had some close relationship that were changing and seemlingly weren't able to work themselves out. It was very sad and there were a lot of things that took me a long time to accept.


The first is that life is simply not as you plan. I should know this lesson well, as I've learned this lesson repeatedly over in my life. Yet, it must not have stuck because I still am taught it again and again. You have dreams and fantasies about how certain things will go. And when they don't turn out that way, its hard to swallow.

I learned that trust can be lost at a drop of a hat, over time, quickly, or even as a result of a sharp tounge. Words written in print are the hardest to be forgotten, for they can be called upon any time, and read verbatim. Words really do cut the deepest.

But I realized that I re-learned a lesson today - and that is God really does know what he's doing. HE is awesome.

I have some amazing friends here in Tampa. But up until the end of my pregnancy, I didn't have that friend. You know, the one that just gets EXACTLY where you are in life, because they are going through it too. I've been lucky enough to be blessed with two of those friends. EXACTLY when I needed them.

I have been forutnuate to reunit, long distance, with a sweet, dear friend of mine. We spent countless emails and text sharing stories, questions and laughs about the gross aspects of pregnancy. We rekindled our bond and for that I am so grateful. We continue to share stories of our babies and I love it.

Here in Tampa, I met a wonderful friend in Labor and Delivery classes. We spent 6 weeks together learning all about labor together - with our husbands. HA! In my 11 weeks postpartum, she has grown to be one of the first persons I want to turn to. She just gets exactly where I am with all the struggles and changes a newborn brings into your life. And I am so thankful she is also in my life.

There is just something about going through something, with someone, simultaneously. It really is a gift. Its so nice not to have unsoliticed advice, but to learn together. To laugh together. To cry together. To BITCH together and just get it.

GOD is awesome. Big thanks to the big Guy for bringing these wonderful, amazing, loving, most stupdendously awesome mommies into my life.