Preparing for the end of nursing

I am very emotional. Tonight is the night that I begin to drop one pumping session from my daily log of nursing.

I know I have said this before, but I meant it. I was never going to nurse. now, here I am, 9 months into my child's first year and I am sad and terrified of starting to ween my nursing.

I have to remember that I have given it a wonderful go. For 9 months I have supplied my daughter with the best of the best. I have provided her a gift that only I can provide her, and I have done it lovingly with little regard to the toll it has taken on my body and my time.

At this time, I am just not making enough milk to sustain my daughter on a daily basis. She is requiring more milk than my body can provide and she has not gained weight in months. Don't get me wrong, she isn't starving. Girlfriend can eat!

I am not getting sleep. Ireland sleeps a full 10-12 and yet I am still only averaging abut 4-5 hours of sleep a night due to my pumping regimen. As I type this, I am not as emotional as I am when I talk about it. I am so sad for the official end of nursing. We are still weeks, hopefully months away from the official end, but I am so so sad.

If you are reading this, I ask that you pray for us. Ireland doesn't like formula and I do not like giving it to her. However, she needs some of it integrated into her diet. I have to start to let go and do what is best for both us, but it doesn't make it easy.