I often hear horror stories of rude people and the inappropriate things they say to pregnant women. No, I'm not talking about the narcissistic people we are all burdened with in our lives (you know, the ones who contact you only to talk about themselves - yawn!).
I'm talking about the people who feel the need to comment on someone's pregnancy weight, or weight in general, or how they look pregnant. OR the people that are also narcissistic and somehow make your pregnancy about them. "You gained XX lbs??! I only gained **insert stupid small number here**." We all know people who have been struck by these inappropriate, self-loathing (but masked with the “I'm so awesome” mentality) people who find it their job to put down a pregnant women during a very fun, yet hormonal, time of their life.
I have been lucky, so far. For the most part, I have not been that person who has been offended by the likes of others due to my pregnancy weight or looks. I feel horrible for the women who have been offended by these comments.
One of my good friends told me after her pregnancy that she was upset with her weight gain and she didn't care for the "you just had a baby" excuse. Her beautiful body was healing and she was feeling the toll childbearing took on her body. I of course thought she was nuts to be so hard on herself. Then I got pregnant. Then I understood what she meant.
I don't understand this pressure to be so concerned with your weight during pregnancy. That said, I have been very concerned with my weight my entire pregnancy. Obviously, the most important thing is to gain weight in a healthy manner for both you and the baby. But where is the line between concern and vanity? When do we say enough is enough? What about the times I literally stressed and been very upset with myself because I gained 1.5 lbs in a week more than I should have, according to 'x' book? The stress of feeling bad about myself in an effort to reduce criticism from shitty people had to be worse for me and the baby then an extra 1.5 lbs did. I mean, especially when in hindsight, the next week, I didn't gain one lb.
I now understand that everyone woman is different and the way their body confirms to pregnancy is different. It something to be embraced, not fought. It really is amazing what your body is doing, that your body is providing life support for a tiny human being that will never care how much you weighed when they took up rent in your belly.
The goal for me is to be the best, most loving, nurturing and supportive parent to my child, not to be the skinniest. Vanity doesn't teach your children much more than how to be insecure and worrisome; it strips them of their natural character.
Now, I'm not suggesting every woman should throw caution the wind and eat for two (hate that phrase) and be careless with their pregnant bodies. I just think the pressure should be on more important things related to pregnancy.
I'm not that great at receiving compliments. But this weekend, I was. At Kate Spade the lady asked how long until I was due. I said "3 weeks" and she said "your belly is so small, you look great!". Usually, I would've said something like 'yeah, well, but look at my butt'. Instead, I just beamed and said 'THANK YOU!' It was not something I expected, but it felt good.
Yesterday at the Ray's game we went up to a booth and this lady asked me when I was due. I again said 3 weeks and she said "How can you be 3 weeks away and look so beautiful?". Again, I was beaming and laughing and I gave her a heartfelt "Thank You". She went on to add a few minor compliments while she asked about the details of name, sex, etc and the whole time I was thinking, thank GOD there are still nice people out there. I know there is, I'm friends with a lot of them. But it’s nice to see nice strangers.
:)
No comments:
Post a Comment